Star Wars Knockoffs Provide Comic Relief

Well I usually write about plants and bugs here, but really my blog is a creative outlet to write and present things not suitable for anywhere else, because, well, because no one was interested. That said, this post is just for laughs. It’s a look at Star Wars figure knockoffs recently available through a certain China-based distributor of goods.

Now I’d usually balk and hesitate to write about a movie or products so “lawyered up” and heavily protected by copyright law. Which I respect. But then I thought, “I’m actually joking about the knockoffs! Not the real action figures (of which I have a few, uh hundred.)

I present some amusing attempts, crappy counterfeits, and funny figures:

Why? Just, why? Why is this somewhat sloppy R2-D2 in black with a Superman logo! He looks unsure about which character to follow. Maybe they wanted to infringe on two separate copyrighted images simultaneously. It’s ridiculous.

And I want it.

The Empire invades Ancient Greece. Sculpts are not bad-looking. The background looks like an original Star Trek set. “Tear this Parthenon apart, and bring me the philosophers; I want them ALIVE!”

The heart-monitor stormtrooper! All the kids are clamoring for one. He/she looks sad.

Ok, the creature at left looks like the unfortunate Harvey Korman character from the Star Wars Holiday Special. And you thought they’d never make one!
The woman at right is, uh, Lois Griffin?

“Yeah, bitches! We got the Imperial Guard backin’ our asses up!” This won’t end well:

Take THAT! THIS is what you get for partyin’ without a black stormtrooper!

Last one for today, I swear:

“I use the Force to make Jolly Rancher hard candy so sticky no Jedi can escape!” Vader actually looks like he’s concerned about washing the sticky mess from his hand. How’s he gonna get that crap off his lightsaber? Is it even a lightsaber!

More funny figures (yes, there are more, Lord help us!) coming in a future post.